Getting Out with Two in Just 22 Easy Steps

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Step 1| Get Yourself Dressed.
Not as easy as it sounds. One kid crying for attention, while the other wastes NO TIME on starting her daily tasks— Elbow deep in dresser drawers pulling out clothes, NEXT is trying on all shoes in the closet. Unless you want your room to look like a jungle just grab the yoga pants. Let’s go.

Step 2| Tackle the Toddler with Clothes.
The key is to lure them in with a snack or a toy. Then, if it feels like you’re wrestling a crocodile, well you’re doing something right.

Step 3| Dress the baby.
If you thought wrestling a crocodile was hard, bending and folding those little hands to fit them into those arms holes ugh! And why do they always make the head-hole so tiny? Poor babies.

Step 4| Stock the Diaper Bag.
The mom rule is: If it doesn’t feel like you packed the entire house then you’re probably missing something. If it’s not overflowing then you’re definitely missing something.

Step 5| Pack Snacks.
Every toddler mom’s secret weapon. Getting fussy? Have a snack. Whining? Have a snack. Tantrum? Have a snack. Bored? Have a snack. Aw, you’re tired? This should help- Have a snack.

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Step 6| Sippy Cup.
Gotta keep them hydrated, just so they can keep filling up those diapers. What would we do all day if we didn’t have diapers to change… read a book, sip on a hot latte, brush our hair. SNAP OUT OF IT and get on to the next step!

Step 7| Check diapers ONE MORE TIME for poop, just in case.
95% of the time one of my kids is pooped as we’re walking out the door. 

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Step 8| Change pooped diaper.
Yup. Told ya.

Step 9| Zone out for a second.
Mom life is not complete without zoning once in a while. You know– when you were about to do something but have no idea what it was. Awful.

Step 10| Start the car to get the air/ heat running.
Unless you want your kids to melt, you might want to blast the air in Florida… even in the “winter.”

Step 11| Load the walking one into the car first, strap them down.
We’ll just say this one is for safety reasons.

Step 12| Load the littlest one next.
One of them is probably crying/ fussing by now so SPEED through the next 10 steps.

Step 13| Run back into the house for the diaper bag.

Step 14| Run back into the house for your water bottle.

Step 15| Run back into the house for the grocery list.
Your memory is not so good these days.

Step 16| Go pee.
Peeing NOW is a good idea because: 1. Your bladder is not as strong as it used to be. 2. Attempting this mission in public places is not ideal–toddlers always touch the nasty things & love peeking under stalls & you probably shouldn’t ask a stranger to hold the baby. 3. They are BOTH strapped down right now so they cannot come bother you… pee alone, in silence.

Step 17| Load the stroller.
Who wants to chase a toddler while balancing a baby and diaper bag? Ohh. Me! Me! NOT.

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Step 18| Lock up the house & jump in the car.

Step 19| Oh but… Turn off the car and run back in the house for your shoes.
There’s always something forgotten—shoes, sunglasses, coffee, wallet, your clothes…

Step 20| Lock the front door.

Step 21| Start the car again.

Step 22| Hand Toddler a snack before taking off.
If he’s not grumpy or bored yet, oh he will be.

Vroom! Vroom! You made it, you’re ready to go. Hope wherever you’re going is worth it! Ha ha ha.

Now you know why moms of multiples spend so much time at home.

I actually wrote a post with REAL TIPS too.


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19 thoughts on “Getting Out with Two in Just 22 Easy Steps

  1. Well you sold me, time to have another!! We go through about 20 steps with just one as it is, mostly because mom can’t remember a dang thing anymore. And, the poop…such a true chart.

  2. I have a 2 year old and a 7 month old and I hate leaving the house unless my hubster or a friend is with. It is too much of a hassle. Once it get warmer here in Chicago I am debating on getting a double stroller.

  3. Pingback: Getting Out With Two in Just 22 Easy Steps | Stay-at-Home Panda

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