So often when people get married they stop pursuing one another. Sometimes it happens on accident. They’ve “caught” their spouse, the chase is over so there is no longer a need to pursue or woo.
Years (or months) later they wonder… What happened? What changed in our relationship? Why isn’t this as fun as it used to be?
Often times what has changed is that couple has stopped “dating” each other. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you stop dating, it just means now after your date you get to go home together and enjoy deeper intimacy.
Most couples we know with strong loving marriages go on dates regularly. Having a set date night is a great way to ensure that this date night happens.
Date Night does not mean
spending a ton of money
planning something extravagant every week
Date Night does mean– getting away from the rest of the world and focusing your attention on each other!
For a while our date night was on Mondays. We named it “Marriage Mondays.” We often enjoyed a treat at a local frozen yogurt joint that was half off on Mondays. We’d sit outside on a bench or in the bed of our truck and just talked or read a marriage book.
After having kids it’s especially important to set aside a “date night” because it’s so easy to forget about one another in the midst of caring for little dependent humans. Find someone who can hangout with your kids once a week or every other week.
Yes, it’s hard to get a sitter and leave the kids in the craziness of homeschooling, carpooling, groceries shopping, practicing hopping — BUT your marriage is MORE IMPORTANT than all of these things.
If your marriage falls, apart your family falls apart.
Your children would much rather you leave them for a few hours a week with a sitter and see mommy & daddy falling more in love with each other. Your children will be better off in the long run when you invest in your marriage.
Invest in your marriage first and your children second.
On the nights you’re too tired to go out or you can’t find a sitter, put the kids to bed and enjoy dinner on the porch or somewhere you’ll have less chances of being disturbed. Let the kids know it’s mom and dad time so they cannot interrupt unless it’s an emergency.
Some of our friends have done something called Date Night Club. Four couples share the responsibility of caring for each other’s kiddos so that everyone gets a date night. Every week, one couple gets all of the munchkins while the other three couples go on dates. Each couple is responsible for babysitting the children once a month. The other three weeks in the month they get to go out on a date, leaving their children with the assigned couple.
Example of How Date Night Club Works
Week 1: Couple A watches all the children
Couple B, C & D Go out on a date
Week 2: Couple B watches all the children
Couples A, C, & D Go out on a date
Week 3: Couple C watches all the children
Couples A, B, & D Go out on a date
It has worked great for many of our friends. Decide on a time frame and a night of the week that works well for all families.
So start planning a date night with your spouse! Choose a night that best works with your schedules so you can both be relaxed. Investing in your marriage is one of the most important things you’ll do in life. On this blog you can find date night ideas.
Photographs Taken By Jennifer Wenzel. Models are Andrew and Michelle Hurley.